Being that this is MY blog and I think it should be an open part of my life the good as well as the bad as seen though my daily existence. So with all things in life a little pain must fall.
Where do I start ? You know that feeling when you hear something that truly affects you. You body physically reacts to it. You get that taste of copper pennies in your mouth and you feel as though someone just slammed a baseball bat into your gut, you feel woozy and disorientated, the room looks brighter and things glow, you feel faint. It's almost like you can't prevent you body from absorbing the shock. Then you just slack and let it wash over you and you sink deep into it. I'm at the tail end of that now. Ya see Tabitha just told me "Yes I met someone that I like " it went on bla bla bla about being friends and all, but those seven little words is what caused the physical reaction.
Yea I know the whole thing was doomed when she moved to VA and I even started dating others myself. But I have to say I NEVER LOVED A WOMAN LIKE I LOVED HER. For what it's worth no other woman I've been with, past or present, has come even remotely close to what we had and what she was. I never so fully clicked with anyone in all aspects as I did with her, my heart is truly broken. Man, its amazing how your mind will mess you up, ooooh yea you go down ALL roads and some of them aint pretty, especially the ones when your trying to sleeping alone and you start to imagine she's not, OUCH that's one is a killer.
But I'm pretty resilient, and at the end of the heartbreak I love her enough to want her to find happiness again and I deserve to be happy as well. for what it's worth the last year and a half was horrible trying to jump start a romance with a few hours together after months of nothing is just awkward. Long periods of no communication and depression on both our parts. And to be honest me not being the best monk in the monastery the last few months didn't help. I'm sure she had many of her own sleepless tormented nights, for that I'm more sorry now than ever.
The following day we reconciled like an old married couple to be friends. She is one of the great persons in my life and no matter how my romantic feeling are hurt we are both not ready to give up on the special bond we shared. I guess its more important to me that she's happy cause God knows she deserves to be. Of course in the back of my mind I'll keep a little spark of hope, but as someone once said Hope can be the most destructive of all emotions, I just can't help but hold out a little hope just way less than the hope that was choking us. But women like this come along once in a lifetime.
To add she was a fine sailor a quick study and lover of woodenboats she will be deeply and forever missed. ...... who knows how this will play out
Yea I know the whole thing was doomed when she moved to VA and I even started dating others myself. But I have to say I NEVER LOVED A WOMAN LIKE I LOVED HER. For what it's worth no other woman I've been with, past or present, has come even remotely close to what we had and what she was. I never so fully clicked with anyone in all aspects as I did with her, my heart is truly broken. Man, its amazing how your mind will mess you up, ooooh yea you go down ALL roads and some of them aint pretty, especially the ones when your trying to sleeping alone and you start to imagine she's not, OUCH that's one is a killer.
But I'm pretty resilient, and at the end of the heartbreak I love her enough to want her to find happiness again and I deserve to be happy as well. for what it's worth the last year and a half was horrible trying to jump start a romance with a few hours together after months of nothing is just awkward. Long periods of no communication and depression on both our parts. And to be honest me not being the best monk in the monastery the last few months didn't help. I'm sure she had many of her own sleepless tormented nights, for that I'm more sorry now than ever.The following day we reconciled like an old married couple to be friends. She is one of the great persons in my life and no matter how my romantic feeling are hurt we are both not ready to give up on the special bond we shared. I guess its more important to me that she's happy cause God knows she deserves to be. Of course in the back of my mind I'll keep a little spark of hope, but as someone once said Hope can be the most destructive of all emotions, I just can't help but hold out a little hope just way less than the hope that was choking us. But women like this come along once in a lifetime.
To add she was a fine sailor a quick study and lover of woodenboats she will be deeply and forever missed. ...... who knows how this will play out
Umph! That's a toughie for you...she's a fair dinkum shiela and an eyeful to boot! Hope she's happy and that you recover quickly. Ya still gots "T-Girl" and the Luckster!
ReplyDelete